Birds of a Feather
by Kaiju Moth
Summary: Robin finally decides to admit his feelings toward a certain other bird, but things don't exactly go as planned! [satirical fic! not recommended for those who like RobxRae!] Oneshot.


Well, as the summary indicates, this is a fic making fun of the RobxRae pairing. So if you happen to like RobxRae, then this story is not for you! (Unless you have a good sense of humor) Just to clarify, this is all done in good humor. If you don't like it, then don't read. If you want to just offer some criticism, go ahead. But please, if you're going to flame, don't bother. Flames do nothing and only make you look foolish. Besides, if you really have to flame someone for making fun of your pairing, then that just shows you really aren't confident in your own pairing, doesn't it? I really don't know what prompted me to write this, it's almost something i did on a whim. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing

* * *

**Birds of a Feather**

The doors of the ops room burst open, and through them stepped the fearless leader of the Teen Titans – Robin. Everything about him, from his mask, to his uniform, to his unusually spiky hair, was all in place. Except for one thing. He was smiling. Not only was he smiling, it was one of those cocky, proud smiles one sometimes sees on men whenever they're very confident about something. And Robin certainly was.

But he wasn't smiling just because he was in a good mood or because of his huge ego; he was smiling because today he would do something that he'd been meaning to do for a long time. Something he'd only recently worked up the guts to do. Today was the day he would let his feelings for a certain other bird be known.

Today was the day he would admit his feelings for Raven.

Raven. The girl whom he had rescued from Trigon. The girl who had saved the world. The girl he was sure he had liked for some time now. In truth, he had felt something ever since he rescued her from falling off the building when Slade had returned. After that, Robin had made it his personal mission to do everything he could to win Raven's heart. He had done many things, even to the point of going off by himself to rescue her from Trigon, which, he told himself repeatedly, was not because of his obsession with Slade or his desire to look like a hero. After all was said and done, Robin knew that she harbored feeling for him. After all, how could she not? He had rescued her from Trigon, and even though others had helped her out as well, he knew he had done more than anyone. She had thanked him personally after defeating Trigon. She had even hugged him! If that wasn't a sign she loved him, he didn't know what was.

It was too good of an opportunity to pass up. Starfire, Beast Boy, and Cyborg were all gone. Today the carnival was in town, and Starfire, as usual, had been more than excited to go. After some begging, and a little pleading, she had gotten Cyborg to take her there. Beast Boy, who already wanted to go, had readily gone with her. As usual, the changeling had begged for Raven to go, but as usual, she had denied him and ended up staying home. And as always, Starfire had repeatedly pleaded Robin to go with her to the "carnival of rides", but Robin, even though he didn't want to, told her he couldn't go. He had managed to convince her that he had too much work to take care of today.

Well, in a way, he wasn't lying, because he did have things to do. And what he was about to do next would be a monumental enough task in itself. It would not be easy, but today, Robin was confident. Today was his day. It was just he and Raven, and nothing would stop him now.

* * *

The boy wonder paused, and after taking a deep breath, made his way to the common room, where he was sure Raven was currently residing. At last, he came to the long-awaited room, and surely enough, there she was. As Robin had expected, she was only faintly aware of him entering the room. The empath sat on the couch and was deeply engrossed in a novel, her purple eyes flitting back and forth across the pages. 

She definitely was a sight to behold. The deep violet hair that he loved fell past her face in silky tresses that radiated beauty. Her skin, while pale, only reflected the sunlight that fell on her, and made it seem as if she was glowing. Her deep, hypnotic, violet orbs shone like to amethyst crystals and made Robin's heart leap. Just the sight of her there almost made him want to rush up and sweep her up in a kiss, but he refrained.

Taking another breath, Robin cautiously approached the mage.

"Hey," he said casually as he picked up the remote and sat down on the couch across from her.

Raven glanced over at him. "Hey," she replied briefly and immediately went back to her book. Robin said nothing, but turned on the TV and started flipping through channels. After five minutes of just switching between channels Robin gave up and turned it off.

"Five hundred channels and nothing on," he said with a grin as he put the controller down.

Raven merely gave a small "Hmm" of acknowledgement and went back to reading, which only caused a slight feeling of annoyance on Robin's part. He sat there awkwardly on the couch for a moment before working up the nerve to speak again.

"What are you reading?" he asked.

"A book," she replied sarcastically without looking up from the pages.

Robin gave a dry chuckle despite his nervousness and spoke again. "Which book?"

She looked over at him again and arched an eyebrow. "Faust," she answered emotionlessly and returned to her book, hoping that he would leave her alone.

Not to be defeated, Robin feigned interest and edged closer to her. "Faust?" he asked, trying to get at least some sort of conversation started. "What's it about?"

Raven looked over at him yet again, the faintest traces of annoyance now visible in her eyes. Nevertheless, she managed a wry smile. "About a man who sells his soul to the devil to find happiness."

"Wow, sounds interesting," Robin said.

"Yup. I'm trying to finish it by the end of the day," Raven said, hoping he'd get the hint.

"Cool. You like it so far?" Robin asked.

"Yeah," Raven said deadpanned.

"Nice. It sounds interesting. I got to admit though; I'm not really into reading about demons and hell and such. _Especially_ after having encountered it firsthand."

Raven managed to smirk slightly at him, but was starting to get confused at Robin's sudden behavior.

"Funny though, I was remembering that time…boy, that had to have been one of the scariest times of my life," Robin said solemnly.

Raven nodded in silent agreement. "Yes…"

"Man, I was sure that there could be nobody in the world more evil than Slade, but boy was I wrong." Robin paused, eyes looking at his folded hands, before continuing. "And that day when he came back and delivered that message, well…I was so worried about you when I thought he was after you."

Raven had by now lost concentration in her book, and put it down. "Yeah. It wasn't very easy for me, either. I'm sure you know that by now." She paused and looked over at Robin. "Though is there any reason you're bringing this up now?"

Robin shrugged and leaned back. "I was just remembering that time when I rescued you from that fall that day. When I saw you, I was able to see more than just the cold, emotionless Raven. And that day, I was able to see…" he paused and looked over at her. "How beautiful you are."

It took Raven's brain a second or two to register what he had just said before she snapped her head in his direction, eyes wide with shock. "Wha-what did you say?"

Robin's small smile grew. "I said that's when I noticed how beautiful you are. What, you don't think so?"

A faint blush had grown across Raven's cheeks. She didn't like where this was going. "Robin, I…"

Robin sat up and looked straight into her eyes. "Raven, I've been meaning to say this for some time now. It's not easy for me to say, so I'm just going to come out and say it." He took a deep breath and smiled confidently at her. "I like you, Raven. I like you a lot. I've liked you ever since that whole mess with Trigon."

Raven snapped out of her awestruck trance. "Wait, you mean like as in…_like like_?"

Robin nodded. "Yes. And believe me, I like you a lot. So, Raven," he said, "I was wondering…you think you'd like go to out sometime? I was thinking maybe this weekend, if you're free. What do you say?"

Raven just looked back at him, eyes wide with shock and mouth hanging slightly open. It was a few seconds before she finally snapped out of it and choked out a response. "Robin, I…I Robin, I don't know what to say."

"Well?" asked Robin, confidence growing. "Yes or no is fine. Though uh, I'd prefer if you went for the former."

'_Alright Raven, get a grip,'_ she told herself. Her book all but forgotten, she set it down on her lap and rubbed her temples with her fingers. Finally, she met Robin's gaze and looked at him sadly.

"Robin, I'm sorry but…" she took a deep breath. "I, I don't feel that way about you."

Robin suddenly felt as though he had swallowed an anvil. His heart seemed to sink in his chest as Raven uttered those words every man on the globe fears. "What?" he asked weakly, hoping he hadn't heard her correctly.

"I said, I don't feel that way about you," Raven said quietly, feeling guilty for having to hurt his feelings like this. She felt an urge to pick up her book and go to her room, but decided against it. Walking away from him wouldn't solve anything.

Robin almost choked on his own tongue. He felt as if someone had just roundhouse kicked him to the head. This couldn't be! There was no way! "But, why…?" he asked weakly.

"What do you mean why?" Raven asked.

"Why?" Robin said a little more loudly. "At least give me a reason!"

"What reason is there to give?" Raven asked in response, her voice rising. "I just don't like you that way!"

"How can you say that?" Robin asked standing up. "After all we've been through together?"

"What do you mean?" Raven asked, standing up to meet him.

Robin stammered for a moment before regaining his speech. "I mean, you and I have been through so much, we've shared so much, and you don't feel that way about me?"

Raven sighed, mustering all the patience she could. "I know we've been through a lot, Robin, and yes, we've shared a lot. But that doesn't mean that I have to like you more than a friend."

Robin shook his head. There was no way he'd let this go this easily. Not when he'd just worked up the guts to do this! "Raven, just think about this. Why can't we be more than friends? We would work out so well together."

"We're alike, I know, but not that much."

"What do you mean not that much?" Robin asked perplexed. "How can you say that? We're both dark and mysterious, as I'm sure the others will agree. We're both stubborn, as I'm sure you know. I mean, we're both named after birds, for crying out loud. Not to mention both our names start with 'R'."

Raven closed her eyes and shook her head. "Alright fine, but that still doesn't mean that I like you as more than a friend. Starfire and Beast Boy are both pretty alike too, but I highly doubt they're romantically attached."

"But Raven," Robin said, not giving up. "You can't tell me you've never felt anything for me. I mean, we have a bond, Raven. You were in my mind once."

"I was in your mind because I had to go. I had to help you out because you were starting to go crazy over Slade. No offense, but having a crazy leader wouldn't do much for the team. And don't ask me how that bond supposedly formed. I'm still trying to figure that out myself."

"You sound kind of annoyed," Robin said angrily.

"Well, I kind of doubt you'd like your mind being connected with someone else's, even if you like them as more than a friend."

Robin was noticeably annoyed, but switched gears. "But Raven, what about the time I rescued you from falling off that building, and you shared your secret with me about the prophecy?"

"Robin, are you saying none of the others would have rescued me from that building?" she asked. To this, Robin could give no answer. "And yes, I did tell you about the prophecy. Yes, I did confide in you. It was the most logical thing to do. You're our leader, Robin. You _needed_ to know. I felt you were the one who needed to know the most and was best suited to handle it. I'm sure any of the others would have done the same thing. But that doesn't mean I did it because I liked you more than a friend."

Robin couldn't believe he was hearing this. There was no way this was happening. She had to have been just hiding her true feelings.

"Besides, it's not as if you're the only one who's rescued me from falling. Beast Boy did the same thing when I was fighting my father's influence in my mind- oh, crap. I shouldn't have said that."

"Wait, what???" Robin asked. "You mean Beast Boy was in your head, too?"

"Um, yes," Raven said, feeling awkward for suddenly admitting that to him unintentionally. "He and Cyborg wound up in my mind after fooling around with my meditation mirror."

"Oh, well that's fine," Robin said sarcastically. "Thanks for telling me now."

"Robin, you're our leader. That doesn't mean I have to tell you everything about my personal life," Raven said.

Robin sweat-dropped on the spot. "Sorry…" He quickly changed the subject and went on. "But…I rescued you from Trigon, Raven. Crap, I literally went through hell to get you!"

"And for that, you'll have my eternal thanks," Raven said. "But Robin, you can't honestly expect me to believe none of the others would have done the same for me."

Robin rubbed his gloved hand through his spiky hair. "Well…"

"Look Robin, I'll always be grateful for what you did, but as I said, I know the others would have done the same thing for me. You just tend to be more gung-ho than the others about being a hero, that's all. Plus, no offense, but I think the fact that Slade was there gave you a little more reason than the others to want to go and find me."

Robin looked taken aback at what she said, but remained calm nonetheless. "But Raven…you ran over to my side when Trigon hurt us all during the battle. You even hugged me…plus you personally thanked me afterward."

"As I said, you did rescue me from Trigon, and you are our leader. So of course I was grateful to you. Plus, it was the end of the world after all. That'll sometimes make you do things you don't normally do. Besides Robin, friends can hug other friends without being romantically attached to them. Even I know that."

"But," Robin said. "You've never hugged anyone willfully before."

Raven's cheeks turned slightly pink. "Well, actually…I did hug Beast Boy before that."

"WHAT?" Robin asked in surprise.

"Yes, I did. After that incident with Malchior, Beast Boy came to my room and talked to me. I, well, I hugged him."

Robin couldn't believe he was hearing this. This was just getting worse by the minute. "Then why the heck did you act like you were repulsed by him when he hugged you after the whole Trigon thing?"

"Well, he did take me by surprise. Besides, in case you didn't know, I do that with Beast Boy all the time. It doesn't mean I don't like him."

"As a friend, right?" Robin asked angrily.

Raven folded her arms and rolled her eyes. "Yes, as a friend. Though I don't know why that should be of any concern to you."

"But Raven, can't you just give this a chance?" Robin pleaded. "We're both so alike. We've both been through a lot, we have a bond, plus we're both named after birds…"

Raven gave him an annoyed look. "Yes, I know. But Robin, that isn't enough. Besides, it's not as if you have a monopoly on sharing things with me. We've all been through things together. Beast Boy, Cyborg, Starfire, and I all have had our moments. Besides…"

"What?" Robin asked frustratingly.

"Well, I don't want to say this Robin, but of all the members of the team, you've probably been around me the least."

"WHAT? How can you say that?!"

"Calm down and let me explain," she said. "Up until that mess with Trigon Robin, you more than any other Titan gave me my personal space. While I'm glad you respected my wishes, of all of them, you probably hung around me the least. I mean, Starfire was always trying to get me to go to the 'mall of shopping' with her, me and Cyborg would often work on the T-Car together, and I'm sure you already know how Beast Boy's always hanging around me trying to get me to laugh. In fact Robin, if it weren't for Trigon, you and I would probably be the most distant members of the team!"

Robin stared at her with mouth hanging open. How on earth could she be saying this? But in a way, it did make some cold, hard sense.

"Besides," Raven said with eyebrow arched, "Unless I'm missing something here, I could have sworn you liked Starfire."

Robin's cheeks flushed pink again. "Well, Starfire's pretty and all, but she's not like you Raven. She's not dark or mysterious. Plus, she's so naïve and stupid-"

"What?" Raven asked.

"Stupid."

"Alright, first off, Starfire may be naïve, and annoyingly cheerful to boot, but she's definitely not stupid. I thought _you_ of all people would've known this. She's shown that she can be very intelligent and mature when she needs to be. And if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you didn't call her that again."

"Woah, calm down! You're getting really defensive," Robin said.

"Well, she is my friend after all," Raven said. Robin gulped nervously.

"Sorry," he said shamefully.

"Are you saying you don't like Starfire, Robin?" Raven asked. "I mean, I've always thought you liked her. Plus you two do spend a lot of time together, not to mention you've hugged on more than one occasion."

"Well, I…" Robin stammered, unable to come up with an answer.

"Well, I sure hope you're not doing this with me just because you're still too afraid to admit your feelings for her."

"What, uh, no! No!" Robin said defensively.

"Right…" Raven said skeptically, but decided not to pry. "Well, is that enough for you?"

"Raven, please," Robin begged. He couldn't lose yet. "Can't you give this a chance? We both know each other pretty well thanks to that mess with Trigon. We're both alike. Plus we're both named after birds…"

A vein bulged in Raven's forehead and she gritted her teeth. "Yes, I know we're both named after birds. That doesn't mean we have to be lovey-dovey romantically involved!"

Robin withdrew timidly and sweat-dropped. "Sorry…just trying to make a point," Robin said meekly.

"Whatever," Raven said, now getting impatient.

"Raven, I know you tend to be emotionally withdrawn. I do, too. But we both understand each other, right? I mean, probably more than any other person on the team."

"I wouldn't go that far," Raven said. "Yes, we understand each other, but you're not the only one who understands me. I mean, despite our differences, Beast Boy and I understand each other. I mean, we both have had our hearts broken, we both have a darker side we need to control, plus we've talked with each other more than once…"

Robin's fists clenched in frustration, his face flushing red. "Alright, would you stop bringing up Beast Boy already?!"

Raven looked at him in surprise. "Sorry. Just trying to make a point," she said, quoting Robin. Her 'fearless' leader looked down bashfully. Raven, despite being annoyed, couldn't help but feel a little guilty for having to tell him this.

"Look Robin," she said, approaching him. "I know we're both alike, and yes, we have had our moments, but I just don't feel that way about you. I hope you can accept that." Robin didn't answer.

"Besides," she went on. "Personally, I think we're a little too much alike. It's not always a good thing, Robin. We're both emotionally distant, we both are dark and moody, not to mention stubborn and uptight. Us getting together wouldn't be a good thing. I mean, the way we are, we'd probably end up killing each other if we tried dating."

Robin looked up at her bashfully. "You think so?"

"Robin, the way you and I are, we probably need someone who's _not_ like us. Someone who can put up with our stubbornness, but still like us for who we are."

Robin shifted his feet and slumped his shoulders. All at once, his hopes had come crashing down.

"I'm sorry, Robin, but that's just the way things are," Raven said sadly. "But I hope we can still be friends after this."

Robin shrugged his shoulders. "Sure. Why not?"

"Besides Robin," Raven said encouragingly, "It's not the end of the world. A guy like you doesn't have any problem attracting girls. I'm sure you won't have any problem finding someone."

"I guess," Robin said, his spirits lifting a little. He straightened up, gathering his dignity. "Well, I guess I'll see you later."

Raven nodded. "Okay. Thanks, Robin."

"Thank _you_," Robin said back. He just turned around to leave when the door behind them slammed open.

"Oh, what a glorious day it has been!" Starfire exclaimed brightly as she entered. "I do like the carnival of rides so much – oh hello, friends Robin and Raven!"

"Hello, Starfire," Raven said.

"Hey, Star," Robin said.

"Robin, is there something the matter? You seem rather of the color blue," she remarked.

Robin met her gaze and shook his head. "I'm fine, Star. It's just been a rough day."

"Well," Starfire said, flying over to him and grabbing his arm. "I know just what will cheer you up. Plus I can tell you about our times at the carnival of rides today, it was most glorious!" She paused and looked at him shyly. "That is, if you are not still busy with the work."

Robin glanced at her, then at Raven, who gave him an encouraging nod. He then turned back to Starfire and a small smile graced his lips.

"No, of course not. Let's go." he said.

"Oh, wonderful! Come, I shall tell you all about it!" she grabbed his arm, and the two ran off, Robin giving Raven one last glance before disappearing. The half-demon let out a deep breath, and finally the room was bathed in silence once again.

"Well, that was awkward," Raven said finally after some time. She bent down and picked up her book off the couch.

The door swung open again, and this time the green shape-shifter stepped through.

"I don't care what Cy says! I should have won that stuffed chicken!" he said angrily, not realizing Raven was there. Upon seeing her, he shut up and did a double take. "Oh, hey Raven! What's up?"

"Nothing," the mage replied, still turned away from him.

"You alright? You look like something's bothering you," he said.

Raven looked over at him. "No, thanks for asking though." She floated over the couch and walked toward the exit.

"Oh, okay," the changeling nodded. "Hey Raven?"

The empath stopped in her path, hand still resting on the door. "Yes, Beast Boy?"

"Who's the better bumper car driver – me, or Cyborg?"

Raven rolled her eyes, but still couldn't keep the corners of her mouth from rising. "Later, Beast Boy," she said, and headed off to her room.

* * *

Well, there you have it! I apologize if Robin is OOC. I kind of intended that. Robin is actually more meant to be the whole support behind RobxRae than his actual character. But I hope I kept them in character well enough. I know the pairing has a lot of fans here, but to me, whole pairing seems boring and forced, and I know some people think they're good together because both their names are based on birds. I swear, every time I hear that stuff about 'the love of two birds', I just want to vomit! AAAARGH! 

Please understand though, I'm not trying to flame the pairing or the people who like it. Nor am I trying to bash the pairing, I _hate_ it when people do that. This is supposed to be just a humorous fic, just for fun. But I'm also venting some frustration with patterns I see in some RobxRae stories. I know this is fiction and people can do what pairings they want, but still, it doesn't help when they go against the series itself. One thing I noticed is that many RobxRae writers try to point to all the stuff in Season 4 as support for the pairing. That's fine and all, but as said, Robin is their leader as well as the intended star of the show. Another thing I don't like is how some people write Starfire and Beast Boy out of character, and try to make them both seem stupid. They are NOT stupid. Please, if you're going to write fanfiction, at least write the characters in character. That doesn't show the creators very much respect, and it also offends people who like the characters. You might as well write an original story if that's what you want to do. I guess my point is, write the pairing if you want, but don't bash other characters, and don't try to act like your pairing is more plausible or canonical than ours! Thank you very much.

EDIT: Also, I should clarify this, because I didn't really do it at first - I'm not saying all, or even mosts of RobxRae writers do the above. I'm well aware most RobxRae writers don't do the above stuff I ranted about. I'm more or less targeting those stories that _do_ do it. Sorry if there was a misunderstanding. Also, I'm not trying to say that people who don't ship RobxRae are better than those who do. Sorry if anyone felt that as well. (As a BBxRae shipper, I do like my pairing better, but I won't bash people who don't feel that way) Hope that clears things up!

Well, sorry for the rant. Hope you don't hate me for having to read through that! Hope you enjoyed the story, too! Please review, but don't flame! Thanks.


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